Step 1 - The Name
While consuming vast amounts of alcohol in your youth you've probably have played a rediculas game where you take your 1st ever pets name and your mothers maiden name, combined them together to make your Porno name. This name like myself and many other unfortunate people seems to come out for the worst and its not quiet as amusing as you origianlly thought it would be. You then slap your fiend for bringing this lame game into context and watch some funky A-Team episodes on VHS where BA converts a old T-shirt and a wooden bench into an armoured tank. Anyway back to the point. If you don't like this crap name you can simply visit My Porn Name just type in your real name select your sex and then bingo a great porn name in seconds. I tried this and found it very amusing so from now on I'd like to be known as my porno name "Marcus Hammer".

Step 2 - Facial Hair (Preferably for males only)
To become a real pornstar you've gotta have a look, and this look usually involves supporting either a goatee beard , giant Noddy Holder sideburns or even a superb handlebar mustash like some sort of bass player from an 80's rock'n'roll group. Although if you are also like myself and unable to grow a good even coat of facial hair, then this link will provide all the Fake Facial Hair you'll need. If you dont like artificial hair rubbing up against your chin or against some random womens thighs then you'll probably be better off with a 100% Reel Hair Fake Beards but the prices do seem to get a little higher.

Note: How ever tempting it may be please refrain yourself from purchasing the full Jesus beard and robe outfit, we all know jesus was a fasion icon back in the day, but 2 thousand years later and the look faded out.

Step 3 - The Wardrobe
Yes I know the fact clothes aren't really important for this line of work, the clothes you'll be wearing on the job will most likely to be taken off straight away screwed up and thrown on the floor, while some fluffer sits on them waiting with a box of Kleenex, but still image is a very important step for every budding Pornstar. I'm not really sure what pornstars wear these days but I think it consists of not alot and something easy removable like Edible Underwear and as for the top layer im not really sure about that either, the last so called film I saw like that was on Channel 5 on a friday night and they was wearing Porno Clothing like this. If you can't perfect your look online alternatively you could visit an Oxfam or any second hand clothes shop, but make sure you rummage through the bargain bin's you'll find some fantastic 70's shirts that will be sure to make you look like the spawn of Miami Vice's Don Johnson.

Step 4 - The Partner (For those who are not married or in a longterm relationship)
Listen up! This is the hardest part of my guide not just becasue I haven't put much thought into it, its because your kind of on your own here. The best place to find your partner would be in a local pub, club, kebab shop, etc the best way to get the girl or guy your looking for is obviously face to face that way you can tell how filthy he/she really is. If your the shy type then im thinking chatrooms, you can pick up all sorts of psycho's, mentalist's and filthy sluts in these things, er not speaking from experiance of course (hides blood ridden knife), hopefully you could go into a chatroom and pick up a partner but then again these places are full of lying bastards and you may end up with a big fat ugly pervert with a fetish for child porn so that might be a bad idea. Okay scratch the last one the next place you could try is hot or not quite simple just send in a picture and people tell you if your hot or not (hence the name). if anybody wants to screw you then they may reply to you, if not get the hint piggy. Theres a million ways but im not gonna name them if they all dont work out try paying a filth hooker.

Step 5 - The Camera
The choice is yours on this one, you've got a choice of Photos, Videos or Digital for all those small-minded stupid fuck's who dont know what a camera looks like then here a collection of some suitable Camera's you may want to purchase curtasy of eBay.

Step 6 - The Scene/Background
In the porn industry there are 5 main scenes/backgrounds, all 5 are mainly done in one large mansion on or near the beach. The Top 5 are the Bedroom , Pool/Bath , Tennis Court , Any where with a flash car and the beach I found a selection of pictures for you to get the basic grasp of what they look like.

If you do wish to try somewhere different that isnt to original or done before then please make sure its legal and you cant be arrested for it. Although if your not quite as lucky as myself and don't live in a 8 bedroom beach house with its own private pool, 5 car garage to display my collection of sports car and Tennis Court's you will probably have to just use the bed like most less furtunate people.

Well I think that about covers it. I've given you the name, the images, maybe a partner, a format and even the location with that sort of detail you'll be sure to succeed in your chosen career until next time folk's keep your pecker up.

P.S. Don't do any gay movies, unless your a hot women.