I was watching television the other day and guess who was on it, None other than the Australian sex symbol Kylie Minogue. I know that this is nothing special seeing her on TV because Kylie is on TV almost everyday on some Music programme but it was during this certain Televison appearance I noticed something very strange, Everytime the Interviewer spoke to Kylie he either looked down or they would never have Kylie and anybody else in shot. I thought this was very, very unusual and descided to look into this subject further more. I started off watching more Kylie TV appearences and they all seemed to be doing the same, I've heard rumours that she is a very small infact due to profiles and such information I found on the internet she's only a tiny 4foot 3inch's tall.
I knew there was more to these people because the way these interviewers look down on her they had to be hidding something and I was gonna find out what it was. I thought Kylie had to be smaller than 4'3" and so I proceeded to do more research. After many failed attempts to contact Kylie herself we did manage to get intouch with Kylie's "Fever 2002" tour manager and ask him.
Phoenix Lords: Before Kylie does a show is there ever anything imparticular that she requires?
Manager: Not really, She's not the sort of person who wouldn't go into a room if wasn't painted white before hand and has a fresh basket of fruit hand picked from the garden of Eden by naked amazon woman like that stuck up tart J-lo, The only thing she really asks for is 6 litres of Chilled Evian Water, 2 pints of Semi-Skimmed Milk, a Cat litter tray and some NIVEHS Fast Active Growth Formular.
PhoenixLords: Thanks for that
N.I.V.E.H.SWe heard all we wanted to hear from our first chat and it all pointed to the NIVEHS Scientists and there handy batch of fast active growth formular. We came across dealings with NIVEHS before in the Geri Halliwell Stick insect transformation project but thats another story.
Soon as we heard the letters NIVHES we knew it was bad news and had to stop this act of inhumanity straight away for Kylie's health and before she shrinks anymore and somebody steps on her.
The pint sized princess of pop Kylie Minogue has been drinking the NIVEHS fast active growth formular to increase her height but failing to reading the small print which reads:
| Constant use of this product may lead to shrinkage or gigantism of bodily ograns. Contains traces of nut. Not suitable for vegiterians |
Kylie has now felt the side effects and shrunk from a 4foot 3inch's to a tiny 1foot 5inch which explained the Semi-Skimmed Milk and the cat tray which her manager had previously told us about. Suppossedly she'd been filling the cat litter tray with Chilled Evian to bathe in and the pints of milk she required are just the right hight for her to take the lid off without standing on a stool.
Viewers, Readers, Fans, etc please help her out and donate money to are grow Kylie back to her orginal size fund, help Ms. Minogue fight the crave for NIVEHS fast active growth formula.
